random things from ilya

Meaghano wrote this excellent blurb of prose, which is in itself a perfect exercise for everybody who is developing right-brain directed thinking. 

meaghano:

I never feel so intimidated as when I go to a coffeeshop for the first time. No kidding. It’s like infiltrating this whole society, filled with unspoken rules and manners of being and I have no idea what they are much less where the milk table is and whether or not they have mediums. They ask me if they need to leave room for milk and I say yes but they still don’t do it and they ask if they should pour some out and I say No, no, that’s okay, “I’ll just chug some off the top.” I guess that is my attempt at charm and I chuckle to myself and shake my head and ask where the milk table is and they point me to it and of course its like looming under a spotlight in the middle of the room so I go over to it and what was I thinking you can’t just chug scalding hot black coffee oh jesus oh jesus so I just stand there frozen staring at the window imagining everyone in the whole place laughing and staring so I put some soy milk on the top and then drink it but i’ve put too much and its too hot and its spilling all over my hand and all over the dreaded milk table and i am muttering fuck fuck fuck fuck under my breath while this poor woman is waiting behind me and part of me just wants to spin around and fling boiling black coffee over all of the macbooks in the room then run out screaming.

And on a side note: In dutch the emotion you get when you place yourself emphatically in her shoes, and you feel her embarrasment deep withing yourself is called: “Plaatsvervangende schaamte”.

I don’t know the english word for that but could it be “igry”; ”painfully embarrassed for or uncomfortable about someone else’s incredibly poor social behavior, or descriptive of such poor social behavior.”

Meaghan, I can relate to you, I hate the coffeeshop nazi’s also :)